What is cyberbullying?

Unfortunately with phones being commonplace in teens' lives there is more opportunity for online bullying than ever before. But what is cyberbullying and how does it occur?

Cyberbullying is any bullying or harassment that occurs online, including:

• sending unkind, abusive or hurtful messages 
• pretending to be someone else online to spread rumours or harass someone
• excluding others from online games, chats or or groups to isolate them
• spreading untrue rumours about someone or being unkind about them with others
• sharing photos of someone to make fun of them or shame them
• encouraging someone to harm themselves. 

Online bullying can take place through social media, on text and WhatsApp, email, on games, or on forums. 

How can I tell if my child is being cyberbullied?

Look for signs that your child is upset, such as becoming withdrawn, being quieter than usual, or if there is a change in their eating and sleeping habits. They may also have physical symptoms such as stomach aches or headaches. You might notice that they choose to spend either more or less time online than usual, or be secretive about who they are talking to. 

If you notice any change in their wellbeing or behaviour, talk to them about what's going on, and reassure them that they can talk to you about anything they're going through.

What to do if your child reveals online bullying

Your child might be confused by what's going on or not think of it as bullying. Listen to everything they tell you and make notes of all the occurrences. 

Tell them they did the right thing by telling you and that it's not their fault. Explain to them what action you will take to help. 

Steps you can take

If cyberbullying of your child is being done by children from school, you should approach the school first. Ask for a meeting with their class teacher or head of year, and provide as many details of the bullying as you can. Ask for them to report back to you with what steps they will take and if you feel it's inadequate action you can speak to the headteacher instead. 

You can also report cyberbullying to the police on their 101 non-emergency number. If bullying is happening via a forum, an app or a game, there may be a reporting tool that you can use. You can also use blocking, age-restriction or privacy functions on the settings of apps to protect your child.

The ban on social media for under 16s is starting soon, which should remove many opportunities for cyberbullying. In the lead up to it you may choose to restrict your child's accessibility to social media in preparation for the full ban. 

The effects of cyberbullying

Being bullied can be tough and can have an effect on your child's self-esteem and mental health. 

Keep the lines of communication open and check in with them regularly to see how they feel. They may find relief by writing about their feelings in a diary, or drawing pictures. 

Help them find ways to relax, perhaps by using mindfulness breathing or trying nurturing hobbies like baking, spending time with pets or creative activities. Sports can also be a great way to relieve stress and make new friends.

If you suspect that your child is struggling due to the effect of the bullying they have experienced, speak to their school's welfare team or your GP. Spurgeons Counselling may also be able to help.